It’s Sallah day and Etcetera is back at it
again. This time, the critic attacks Nigerians ladies that wear body
magic and wonder bras this time.
His new article is titled ‘The Miracle of Body Magic and Wonder Bra”.
Enjoy: -
Those women who wear simple and proper
undergarments, this article is not about you. It is for those women who
are confused and concerned and are leaning toward spending their
hard-earned money on a magic garment that is being peddled as if it can
solve all that ail them, only to be sorely disappointed.
Every eight seconds, a woman looks in the
mirror and wants to be smaller. I have a huge problem with this type of
women. Whenever I meet people who pretend to be what they
are not, it gets under my skin. When you present yourself as something, you’re asking me to trust you are exactly what you say you are. Why would you then abuse the trust you asked for with the goal of winning my heart? That is not fair.
are not, it gets under my skin. When you present yourself as something, you’re asking me to trust you are exactly what you say you are. Why would you then abuse the trust you asked for with the goal of winning my heart? That is not fair.
A friend of mine introduced me to a very hot
chic at a bar in Ikeja and after hours of hanging out and getting to
know each other, she followed me home. All I could think about was what
she’d look like under all those tight clothes, but when she finally
grunted her way out of those really tight jeans and her body began to
spread in all directions, I suddenly had a headache and didn’t feel so
well and I gave her cab fare home.
I mean, is this body magic thing for-real? It
is ridiculous. To think that someone would honestly wear it instead of
putting the time and effort into actually losing the extra pounds should
be a personal embarrassment. It’s really gone past pathetic. The
extreme to which our women are going to capture an image of beauty that
is neither holistic, healthy nor attractive is crazy. It seems so
strange that some ladies complain about not being able to find sincere,
honest and real men when everything about them is synthetic, processed
and unreal.
Ladies, let me sell you a clue. If you find a
man, any man, who seems to be attracted to women who have certain
physical attributes like fake hair, fake nails, fake round bum-bum, fake
flat stomach, fake eyelashes and fake br**sts, odds are he’s a fake
man. So if that’s what you’re looking for (fake men), then that’s cool.
Leave the ‘real’ men to the ‘real’ women. If my girl had to undress and
all of a sudden picked up 8 to 10 pounds merely by taking off her
corset, the attraction would have ended immediately. Because it is a
fraud and I don’t get myself involved with fraudulent people.
What worries me most is, how do you as a lady
guard your emotions from the reaction you will inevitably receive when
that look of shock and disdain appears on the face of your man after he
sees those parts you’ve been hiding under that body magic? If you find
yourselves that undesirable, why would you expect a man to find you
desirable?
Let’s look at this thing called body magic and
the falsity around it. It makes you feel you have dropped three dress
sizes right? Which basically means you’ll shave off about three inches
of fat in ten minutes, firm up your abs, and boom, you’ve lost all the
extra weight. Yes girlfriend, a body magic can reshape you. Wearing a
corset can change your bust-line, by raising the br**sts upwards and
shaping them, flattening the stomach, and improving posture. However,
these effects are only temporary and will be lost on removing the
corset. Indeed, excessive corset wearing has been claimed to weaken
certain muscles, making it more difficult to maintain your shape.
Another thing a body magic can’t do is make a
mound of fat disappear. Using a body magic for this purpose does nothing
except shift mass fat into a place it originally was not supposed to
be. Think about it, if fat was supposed to be buried deeper into your
body, then guess what? God would have put it there. It’s stored on the
outermost parts of your frame for a reason. Squeezing into a body magic
and hoping it’s going to help permanently hide whatever flaws your body
may have is a joke. And for Christ’ sake, the thing is so uncomfortable
and tight, that it makes you unable to breathe or ease yourself when
pressed.
I am really sad that our ladies don’t talk
about healthy eating or exercise anymore. Body magic is a temporary fix
at best and deceitful for that matter. Ladies, let’s be truthful here,
if you met a guy who was wearing a muscle garment and once he took his
shirt off, he was all flab underneath, won’t you be very disappointed?
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem
with a woman using the garment in the process of losing weight and
wanting to look toned down after childbirth. What I have issues with is
the fact that we in this country are all about the quick fix. I think we
should know that looking good is not just about hiding the body fat.
And wait a minute, I know some of you may
actually think that you don’t have to stop eating your favourite fatty
foods, because your body magic will force you right back in shape. You
forget the fact that those foods are unhealthy and lack proper nutrition
for the body. You also forget that those are the same foods that got
you in a physically unfit figure in the first place. Forget the fact
that those foods aren’t going to help you maintain that figure. Should
you magically obtain it, you don’t want to sacrifice and take pains to
exercise. Doesn’t it surprise you that the garment is called body magic,
like abracadabra? It can give you all you want and you don’t have to
sacrifice at all. My dear, nothing works that easy.
Why not work harder to achieve a permanent
figure you are craving for? It must be hard, or down right depressing to
walk around looking fine most of the day, and then having to take off
the fine body suit and look at the undesired one at night. It’s like you
are trying to fool yourself and others. Eventually, you’re going to
have to face the ‘fat’. Remember when you take off that body magic,
gravity takes over! And no man wants to buy an illusion. We all want the
real thing. It’s just sad that some Nigerian women are so hell bent on
instant gratification. It would be beautiful to see you ladies embrace
yourselves as you are. If you run like a rat, smell like a rat and look
like a rat, then guess what girlfriend, you are a rat.

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